


Love Letter

by FearlessChihuahua



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 11:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6751330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FearlessChihuahua/pseuds/FearlessChihuahua
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This will be my last love letter for you, darling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Letter

_Dear Akashi Seijuurou,_

_Do you remember back then when you received the first love letter from me? Both of us were still high school students. You and I, both were so different. Well... You rejected me and called me disgusting without even reading my letter. I could see why - I am just no match to you, even though it hurt me like hell; it still does; but I have forgiven you._

_My family is not as rich as yours. Our fathers only happen to be business partners and childhood friends. We had barely made any contact in class. And on top of it, I was too scared to reach out for you. You were popular, and I was only a loner dork._  
_Maybe if I had known that you prefer red to pink, you wouldn't have gotten so angry and felt so humiliated by my letter._

 _Learning from my mistake, I really hope that this red letter would do. My last love letter for you._  
_I loved you and I still do, though I won't change the fact that you dislike me. "I love you". And it feels so good to tell people how you actually feel. Maybe I should do more, but I am afraid that I don't have any more chances._

_We have been separated by fate when you chose different country to continue your study. Yet it seemed like the goddess of fortune loved me - or maybe hated me. We met again and our fathers made mistakes by arranging a marriage for both of us - no.. My father arranged this marriage because he wanted me to be happy. I am happy. So, don't worry about it._

_I was happy at first - I still am. Yes.. I was happy and selfish because I didn't think about your feelings. Also, blame my selfishness, I also thought that maybe as the time went on, you would start to love me._  
_Maybe we could be friends.. For now, the word friends don't seem so bad to me anymore._

 _Can you recall the first day after we became spouses? I smiled gratefully because the day I would be called as an Akashi had come. I am no longer a Furihata. And Akashi Kouki sounds so nice to me. It makes me wonder if your family name actually would fit everybody's given name._  
_Akashi Tetsuya. Akashi Taiga. Akashi Satsuki. Akashi Ryouta.. Akashi Daiki... Akashi Shintarou.. Akashi Atsushi.. Akashi Kouki._  
_But I could see you putting your face on your hands desperately._  
_Especially when the maids started to call me Akashi._  
_You hated it._  
_I tried to ease your sadness by giving you hugs and kisses, but you pushed me away pretty roughly._  
_You didn't need me, after all. You don't._

 _People started to call me Akashi after our wedding. And get called the same name as you makes my heart rushed. But maybe now, if you call me Akashi, my heart won't skip its beat anymore._  
_No.. It is not a maybe. It is a certain fact._

 _I really want to say sorry for everything that I have done._  
_Sorry for hugging you.._  
_Sorry for asking some comfort from you.._  
_Sorry for liking you.._  
_Sorry for leaning my head on your lap when you were so tired._  
_I am such a bad cook..._  
_I should have known that you dislike seaweed._  
_More importantly, I am sorry to buy you roses on your birthday yesterday. Nobody told me that roses will only remind you of your mother and hurt you._  
_In exchange, I am giving you what you want for your birthday._  
_My death.._

 _Please forgive me for being so impolite, for borrowing your favourite shirt and not telling you earlier. I really want to look good for the last time._  
_You always look so good when you wear your favourite shirt. I wonder if I will look as good as you.. But I know that the answer is no. I am standing in front of mirror in my room, writing this love letter for you while wearing this shirt. I don't even look as good as what I thought I would be in the mirror. But still, my look definitely is so much better._

_Do me a favour? Please hug me, kiss me, and whisper in my ear that I am handsome? But. Then again.. I don't deserve those kind gestures from you. I am only a nobody.._

_I have been wanting to be an Akashi for such a long time, and I am an Akashi now._  
_Yes.. I am an Akashi._  
_Right...?_  
_If we divorce, then I will be a Furihata again.._  
_I don't want to be a Furihata anymore..._  
_Receiving a letter which is telling me that I won't be an Akashi anymore definitely sent me crazy._  
_I love you. I really love you.. I let you do what you want to me.. But why?_  
_So, I am doing this in order to be an Akashi forever._

 _I unpacked my daddy's stuff last night and found a nice silky tie. It fits your shirt perfectly, made me think about giving it to you in exchange of those roses._  
_Yet you rejected it and told me to die._  
_Why?_  
_I like the tie._  
_I know that you will like it too._

 _You don't want anything but my death, eh? I wonder if I give it t you, will you accept it?_  
_To think that I will be able to watch all your movements, hug you when you feel sad, and you won't be able to push me away like usual.. That must be what you want._

 _Imagining things like holding your hands, running my fingers through your soft red hair, kissing your lips, and embracing you has been my routine thing to do. It makes my heart warm when daydreaming about impossible matters. You won't do those things for me._  
_You only touched me once and treated me like a doll. You hate my voice, thus you didn't let me moan._

 _I don't mind.. I don't mind._  
_I still love you._

 _Now that I will be able to do all those things that I have been wanting to do to you, I am starting to blame you. Why don't you tell me to kill myself sooner? I won't need to think about perfect gift for you. It succeeds in making me feel stupid._  
_But you finally give me my freedom, and I thank you for that._  
_Thank you.. I mean it, love._  
_You won't read this letter, I know. But, when you get home, I can see that you will visit my room to check my condition. You still care, after all. But you will only find me, holding a letter of our divorcement, and a chair under me. Until then, see you._

_Best regards,_

_Akashi Kouki._

_P.s. Don't cry.. I want you to be happy when you receive my gift._

Seijuurou reads the letter over and over again; can't believe his eyes. Why his heart hurts him? He never likes Kouki from the very start. Kouki is nobody to him. Nobody, but a person who had stolen his future.

Now, when he reads the letter, he starts to regret everything that he has done to Kouki. Kouki is a nice person. He really is kind. What has gotten into Akashi to hurt him? Sure Kouki is gay, and he is disgusted by that fact. It is nobody's fault if Kouki loves him and if he decides to commit suicide on his own.

"Why..?"

If only Akashi had decided to read the letter sooner, maybe he would have been able to save Kouki. But for now, he is too late. It has been six hours since his maid sent him the letter right before he went to work.

Nobody was there to save Kouki. Not even Akashi. He has just murdered someone that he disliked. Someone who loved him.

He rushed to his house, Kouki's room. Only to find his Kouki's dead body is hanging on the ceiling, wearing his shirt and the silk tie that he rejected, holding a letter that Akashi gave to Kouki - letter about asking for divorcement. There is written, "I don't want to be called Furi anymore", on it with red pen.

Tears are pooling down in the corner of Akashi's eyes. He pulls him down from the rope that hangs him, and gives him a last hug that Kouki will receive. He kisses those thin and already cold lips, brushes his hair aside; notices how dark circles under his big eyes, how thin his body is, and how he actually is pretty good looking. "You are good looking enough.. Sorry, Akashi Kouki..", he hugs Kouki once again and starts to cry. "I am sorry.... I am so sorry. I am the bad one.."

_"Don't cry.. But, thank you for hugging me, Seijuurou.. Your lips are very soft, just like what I thought they would be. My decission is correct after all.. And if I have gone sooner, I would have received your attention for such a long time. Silly me.."_

Fixing the chair, and put it right under the rope. Putting his loved one - now he loves Kouki and doesn't want to lose him - in the bed and covering his body with blanket. Standing still on the chair. Seijuurou puts his head in the loop that Kouki has made earlier. "I am sorry, Kouki". He kicks his chair, and everything is just another darkness.


End file.
